Letter to my children

I asked my brother to add something to my blog to "personalise" it some how.  And we decided on an open to letter.  The first letter is directly to born 1 August 1999, who sadly died whilst in Care in February 2013.

the second letter is to the remaining 4 children.

"To my angel,
I know that you are no longer with us, but I hope somehow you know we never stopped fighting to get you back. Your mum and I don't speak and I've not seen your sisters in a lifetime but I know we all miss you and that we all wanted what was best for you.  

I remember watching you grow from a tiny baby into a toddler and then into this amazing beautiful young lady.  
I remember hoping your life would be everything you wanted and deserved.  

I never thought for one minute that I wouldn't get to see you grew into a mature adult, I never imagined you'd never go on to have an amazing family of your own.  

But here we are.

I miss you every day.  Some days, I can imagine your still here and that you've just popped to the shops other days the realism hits me as soon as I wake up.  It hasn't got any easier.  Everyone said it would get easier, but they were wrong, I've just learnt different ways in which to cope.  But easy isn't what I'd describe it as.

I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that you did absolutely nothing wrong.  You were strong when you needed to be and we let you down.

You are loved, you always have been, and one day I hope to tell you that.

Dad"

"Hi Kids, its dad.
I've not written in a while, because I'm not allowed to at the moment.  But it doesn't stop me from thinking of you always.

You're all growing up so fast and I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on such important memories.

So here is some fatherly advise I hope you can listen to. 

Stick at it in School, I know it's not always interesting and revising can be a big bore, but if you don't stick in you'll regret it when your finished.

Find a good hobby, something you can enjoy in your own time.  It'll help you to succeed in the long run.

Treat others with respect, it doesn't cost anything, and keeps trouble away.  If trouble does find you, stuck up for yourself and for each other, even if it means walking away.  Choose your friends wisely, they will have such impact on your life.

I know we've not always seen eye to eye, but you need to know I've always loved you and wanted nothing but a happy, healthy life for you, even if it meant I couldn't be in that life.

Always thinking of you
Love Dad"